An Open Letter

Dear Whiner,
You poured your heart out to me and told me about all the worries and troubles plaguing you. I heard it all. You know, about the nasty boss, shitty office, horrible place, the puke-worthy food, the mean friends, friends who won't ask for your opinion, friends who always ask for your opinion, people pretending to be your friends when their real intention is to kill you and sell your organs.(ok, i might have made this one up!)
I sympathized with you, made soothing noises and tried to cheer you up. But you didn't cheer up. Your problem became my problem and I played the perfect Agony Aunt and gave you the best advice I could. But you still weren't happy. I told you things couldn't get worse so they'll surely get better. But you insisted that the worst was yet to come and this was just the tip of the iceberg.(bigger than the one which caused Titanic to sink)
And now Dear Whiner, when i look at my graying hair and creased forehead, I feel like saying only one thing.
You..Off my Planet!!

Thank You
Yours Sincerly
Had Enough Of Your Complaints

"HAPPY" Childrens' Day!!

All this talk about celebrating Childrens' Day has made me quite nostalgic. It's brought back a deluge of memories. Grandpa's constant pampering. Scooter rides with Dad. Playing all sorts of games with friends. Comics and books. Cartoons. An uncomplicated life, in short.

I really can't say the same for the kids today!! 
- An 8 yr old comes to me the other day and says "add me as a neighbour in Farmville"!!
Me: Do your parents know that you have a facebook account??
Him: Sure, they are the one's who created my profile. Infact, my mum, dad and aunt are all my neighbours. Oh, and do remember to gift me a cherry tree daily. I need more of them.
(Ah well, atleast they are talking the "Go Green" message seriously, even if it's only in the virtual world!!)
Me: What outdoor games do you play?
Him: Well I race to my house daily from school, does that count??
Me: It sure does!! Why do you do that though? Coz you get very hungry by then?
Him: Na..need to get back in time to harvest my crops else they'll wither!!
Ummm..ok!!

I am stumped and frankly appalled! What happened to hide and seek, stapoo, carroms and skipping? Why have reality shows demanding kids to dance and sing and crack adult jokes replaced Ducktales and Tom and Jerry?? And why would kids rather listen to their ipods than read Tintin and Famous Five!!

And parents are no less. After all it's their responsibility to ensure that their kids don't have their noses glued to the TV or laptop. And to top it all, they expect their kids to do everything. Clear IIT entrances and also be a swimming champ. Win the reality show while getting an A grade in school.

Life is not a race. Some effortlessly achieve their goals while others stumble around and discover their true calling. No need to take Mr Darwin seriously people, coz in the end everybody survives. Really. :)

rangoli

That Sinking Feeling

Yes, that's right. This is the feeling which the sight of water inspired in me earlier. And I thought what better way to conquer this fear than by learning swimming? And so the adventure began..:)

I was apprehensive, to say the least, on my first day of the lessons. At the sight of water, a panic attack set in but was quickly quelled when I caught some 3 and 5 year olds LAUGHING at me. huh!! With false bravado I stepped into the pool. The coach asked me to try floating. 5 seconds inside water and I was dying to get out. Which I couldn't. Instead I thrashed around wildly till the coach steadied me. (To my credit, the coach conceded he had never seen anybody do such astonishing somersaults before!! :))

One day the coach wanted me to jump inside the pool, that too from the deep end. Of course I said no. And of course my opinions are valued a lot.
"Just jump and push yourself off the floor of the pool and start swimming".
Sure. Do you want me to do a couple of pirouettes too?? And as I stood preparing to jump, a couple of bees decided it was an ideal time to come out and encourage me. "Jump in if you want to escape the bees" Thank You, Sir. Suddenly the proverb "between the devil and the deep sea" took on a whole new meaning.

Then came the diving lessons. "First the hands enter the water, then your face and then the rest of the body". And of course I followed the instructions to boot. By landing hard on my stomach.

Well eventually I did learn swimming properly. That occasion was marked by me getting a standing ovation from everybody. Just kidding. Or maybe not.

But overall it was an amazing experience. And even though I might not be an ace swimmer, I can atleast save myself from drowning. Bring on the pool parties people!! :)

Women are thinkers!!

I came across this hilarious video of Russell Peters and I just couldn't stop laughing. He insists that women think all the time while guys can spend ages thinking NOTHING.
But really how is that possible??? Guys, just HOW can you not think of anything?? Is your brain like a blank screen or something?? Does it sink into a stupor??
I could multitask my thinking process. It's like my brain is divided into sections and each is running it's own line of thought. I could write an exam while thinking simultaneously of some TV show I saw or replay a conversation I had. It's almost like my brain cells would rust or just ooze out if I stop thinking. But you know what?? I love it. This activity is liberating(Oh shut up, IT IS,at least for me!). It's fun and relaxing. A stress buster. It is. ( Do shut up, coz I might just end up punching you if you don't. huh!)
Anyways thinking about thinking was so fascinating that it lead me to this article.
In case you haven't seen the video I mentioned, here it is. Enjoy.

P.S. I admit, there are times(very rare, mind you) when I wish I could shut off my brains for a bit and enjoy the moment and not really analyze the situation. I mean I can always do the analyzing part later right?? :)

Light

                  
                     The stormy night will pave the way
                      to a bright & halcyon day
                                         
                     The endless tears will soon dry away
                     & you'll emerge strong and brave

                     The nightmares will morph into beautiful dreams
                     and with happiness will your world teem

                     The future is awaiting with new challenges for you
                     and so it's time to do away with your blues 
                                           
                      For at the end of the tunnel there'll always be light
                      beckoning you to rise to new heights

TV and ME

My fingers are aching from flipping through the channels at top speed and the remote, poor thing, has suffered many injuries from being thrown ruthlessly at all corners of the room. Why?? you may ask. (or not for that matter, but I'd like to believe otherwise! :)). Well, it's coz of the unbelievable nonsense that the television seems to be sprouting nowadays. Really do all these things happen in real life??

1. Do parents dream ONLY about getting their girls married off? Mine must be very weird then, coz they made me finish school and college and now, horror of horrors, want ME to go out and work! (Gasp!!)

2. Do people really marry twice or thrice?? And eventually go back to the first guy/girl?? (Wow, talk about learning from trial and error!!)

3. Do women really scheme so much?? (At do they foam at the mouth when their plan fails??)

4. If some wannabe decides to get married on television, is it really breaking news??

5. Does plastic surgery change one's bone structure too? And ya does it suck fat off the body too?? (If yes, I would like the doctor's number pls!!)

If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, then somebody please remove the brand new 32" lcd tv from in front of me. My parents won't take it too kindly if it's found broken into pieces.
And then They may start dreaming about getting rid off me me married. (Faints)

Driving Away To Glory

Driving lessons with dad:

Day 1: So this is the clutch and that the accelerator and..
Day 2: Let's revise; now this is the clutch and that is the...
Day 3: Are you sure you remember what we did yesterday??
Day 4: Ok now slowly release the clutch and gently step on the accelerator. Car gallops ahead and comes to a standstill
Dad(after much eye rolling): Let's try it again..
Day 5: No, you can't drive in 3rd gear, first learn the technique properly and keep the speed under 25.. A guy riding a cycle speeds past the car
Day 6: Stop..Go go, stop, break, GO!! What are you waiting for??
Day 7:lots of door slamming and shouting and a trip to the doctor to soothe frayed nerves
End of driving lessons with dad.

Meet the Teacher

As a kid I used to love to play "teacher-teacher". It was great fun pretending to be one; "checking" notebooks and writing on the blackboard with colored bits of chalk and bossing around my then sweet brother, who was too young to rebel (yes boys, it really was fun. Now stop rolling your eyes and snorting!! huh!)
And then I decided to put my "talent" to some good use and now it's a great source of pocket money for me. The other day I was thinking about how teaching has made me evolve as a person.

It's made me less impatient and more tolerant. And I've learnt that it takes all kinds of people to make up this world!! :) But really, it always keeps me on my toes, for I must always be ready to face a barrage of questions. And I  feel positively giddy at the brilliance with which I sometimes field those questions!! (Modesty?? what is that??)

But it isn't all that easy. There are some frustrating moments when I feel like strangling beating them black and blue gently scolding them for shutting their brains off. But that really doesn't work. And so swallowing the anger and being patient is the only way out.
And I'm proud to say that after months of practice I no longer stare at them open mouthed in a " I don't believe you just that" way when they come up with something incredibly stupid unusual. I know, I know, it's turning into a "I love myself" post!! :)

But you know what? I love all this. All the shouting, laughter, brainstorming sessions, the excitement.I love it all. And ya, all those students who helped me become the person I'm today. Thank You.

P.S. : if any student of mine is reading this..sept 5th is teacher's day..and i like chocolates and books and titan watches.. I know..I'm very subtle.. :)

friends for life!

i recently received a friend request in facebook from a very old friend of mine. It always feels good to know that your old classmates still remember you. And it also brings back the memories of those days and all the fun that we had back then. And so one day i was online in facebook when i received a message from that particular friend.

Him: Hi!! how are you!!
Me: hey!! m good..how are you doing??
Him: m fine..what's up with you??
Me: Nothing man, just the usual..
Him: hmm..by the way..WHO are you??

So as you can obviously see, our friendship is as strong as ever.

i'm NOT interested!!

Clearly the Donot Disturb Registry isn't working.
I got a call from an unknown number and something told me that it would be one of those overzealous salesmen selling me some insurance/policy or something like that, which I most certainly don't want. So i didn't pick up my phone. I again got a call from the same number, and thinking it was something important i picked it up. And what do i hear??
"Hello mam this X calling from abc are you interested in..."
Me: NO, I'm not. Please dont call again.
And i end the call.
The guy calls AGAIN!!! This time:
"Sorry maam it seems there was some problem the call was disconnected!! As i was saying, are you interested in...!!"
Right..